MY FIRST ARREST

ei didnt really arrest anyone yet but hopefully soon i will. your dude friend me has moved from oogling at weird hippy bots who are not very attractive and picking up lots of trash to a much more glamorous proffesion. my new job involves oogling over much more attractive women and ensuring justice 5 days a week at a prime time booyah doowntoown locashion. now im not the dude to yuou know, assume all black people steal stuff but apparently this is the attitude that a person in my position seems to take on. heres a quote from the dude training me. "now im not racist my any means but you really have to watch out for these young black people stealing things." although stereotyping minorites and offering them "extended customer service" is sure a blast i am really pumped to bust some 15 year old girl who is with her mom. oh the tears will fly my hombres. and i will have no sympathy because justice may be a cold dish, but i like ice water. you feels me?

the store i work at is so fucking weak that i cannot even begin to explain some of the things i see people wearing and the toopid shit i hear people say. hey buddy, i really like your really tite white jeans. they really go with that brite yellow belt you have there. i was totally conviced all these dudes were dooshbags but then i realized, nearly all the mega bots i see are with duuds like this so i began to ask myself. are dudes that wear shirts that say "trust me im a celebrity" dooshbags, or am i the dooshbag. then i asked myself, who is doing pushups naked, dipping my penis into a warm cup of water, and who is putting their penis in a real vagina with bot to go wit it?