safety first

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I have always looked down on people who burn down their own houses like they are rift-raft scum. Who the fuck burns shit accidentally? I always figured if you had running water the problem would sort of handle itself with some quick thinking and an accessible bucket. Unfortunately for me, the only bucket I have in my house is on my back deck filled with dry leaves, my hair, and nearly 1,000 cigarette butts. I used to put my cigarette butts in forty bottles. I have nearly three filled up which I plan on using for some sort of hilarious prank. The only prank I have thought up so far is throwing the forty filled with cigarettes at an unsuspecting woman from a car. Because I do not own a car anymore (I sold it to my younger brother for an ipod which, as it turns out, does not work) and none of my friends want to be an accomplice to my prank which they argue is a crime, i will have to think of another more legal prank involving the disgusting forty bottles.
But because I am lazy, I stopped using the forties for my finished cigarettes and just started throwing them in the plastic bucket filled with dry leaves and my hair. Upon tossing the lit cigarette in the bucket, I went inside to cook some meat for me and my woman. It was a fine cut. I sat back blissfully for near 90 minutes before I decided another cigarette was in order. As I approached the deck I noticed that it looked like it was on fire, and after looking further, my speculation became fact.
All I can say is thank god my landlord had the foresight to equip me and my hero roommate with a fire extinguisher. When my manly roommate heard my girlish screams, he rushed to put out the fire, which fortunately only burnt the wall where the bucket was. I'm not one to object to offensive odors but the smell of burnt plastic and hair almost made me vomit as though I had just put down 2 bottles of red. and I dont mean whine. maybe i do. i think cisco is wine. Im talking about cisco.
well now my house smells like burnt plastic, i have a final tomorrow, and a sudden soft spot for people who burnt their houses down.