Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Is walking around in the rain an appropriate substitute for taking showers?



Me think so.

but that is neither here nor there

Rain really brings out the crackhead in everyone. Thinks about it. You know, rain attire.
lets review:

The beanie:
in my opinion, if you are of the homeless persuasion, you better either have a noticably funny hat, or a beanie. Today i saw a homeless guy wearing one of those chevys fresh mex hats. not the best for the weather but he won real style points with me. anyhoo, anyone who wears a beanie looks homeless and while trying to prevent loss you can understand how confused someone like myself can become.





"it was that guy. Ayyyyy!"
these guys arent homeless (obvi) but they are helping me drive my point home.

Moving on. The Trenchcoat:



Classic homeless wear. Once again, the people with houses are really blurring the line here. this dog really helps me illustrate my point.

Spotting crackheads is my profession and i take it damned serious. the rain is upsetting me very much. What upsets me even more are these fucks who walk around with umbrellas open 45 minutes after it stopped raining. ITS NOT FUCKING RAINING ANYMORE! put the umbrella away. I wonder how many eyeballs are ripped out of the socket by people carrying umbrellas when its not even raining. i bet the number is haella high. I swear i am gonna catch a rusty umbrella wire to the eye.

my plan if this happens:

1) cause a big scene and make the person feel bad (especially if its not raining)
2) try to walk it off and somehow end up in the newspaper. I will randomly call it in and some new reporter will be all over it. Ill say "I'm no hero. I just got poked in the eye and made it to the hospital myself because my knowledge of MUNI is so vast. I'm no hero."
3) Become a marter and make umbrellas illegal. ill fight my way to d top.

a little water never hurt anyone. especially those of us who choose not to bathe.

here are some songs

Messy Marv - Hoes Aint Shit
Uhhh. this is from the album "Death On A Bitch". I know. its a great name. in fact, the only reason i bought the album was because of the name. nah nah nah. its pretty good. The song is a TLC diss. remember that sporty thieves one or whatever. this one is cooler. My question: did tlc ever hear this song and if they did would they care. if mess ever made fun of me i'd be super upset. and maybe a bit flattered. mostly flattered.


First Degree the D.E. - There That Man

Oh D.E. you so silly!

First Degree the D.E. - Damn That DE!

Here is a fun yoko type project. Get really high. Fill a blank CD up with this song. Walk around in the pouring rain. The rest is up to you.


Soooooo, i was leaving my terrible job a couple months back and found a CD on the ground. I find lots of CDs on theh ground but this one caught my attention. ot was called "Diet Hyphy: The Jaedelle Mix-Mixtape" The explanation: R&B Collabs with Bay's Hyphy=Diet Hyphy. Jaedelle is on Diet on Hyphy. Alright i thought. I didnt listen to it for a while but when i did i was somewhat pleasantly entertained. She pretty much took every well known aspect of the hyphy movement and made songs that are about all of the elements put toguether. I watch her sell CD's all day and she actually makes more money than anyone else trying to sell CD's. but then again, she has a a vagina and the rest of the guys (obvi!) have penis-iz. which i now(and suggest you do the same) call womb-brooms.

Jaedelle - Feelin It (It's A Hyphy Show)

get on that diet hyphy hype. lots more jaedelle to come. lots
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