New Pants + Semen = old pants

The official moment that your new pants become no longer new is when you get semen on them. Sometimes this could take quite while. We may have different ideas of what quite a while means. None the less, it is a special moment for a pair of pants and one which should be celebrated. There is no need to invite close friends. just you and your pants should be satisfactory for such a celebration. Its kind of like a bar mitzvah for your pants. you have seen them grow up. you remember when you took the tags off. now they have semen on them they have surely made the jump from adolescence to young adulthood.
Semen on your pants should really be a private matter between you and your pants. depending on the location where the semen ended up on your pants, you could maybe sport a tall-t to hide the semen stain.
I should probably ask a girl but i would imagine the bigger the semen stain on your pants the more impressed girls will be. or dudes. women want a man who is real poh-int.