Wednesday, October 03, 2007

The Roundabout!

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Sometimes when I'm pooping, i feel like my body is losing vital nutrients. Even as the poop oozes out of my butt, I can feel myself getting weaker, much like those headaches that professor X got in X-men.


If my penis was really big, i might feel the same way when i popped a woodrow. with all the blood flowing to my gargantuan penis, there would not be much blood left to make my heart pump and do other things that make my hot-bod-go. all this ridding my body of excrement is leaving me feeling like i just smoked some bunk schwagg. So when I was taking a 2.5 pound poo the other day, I realized that there is no time like the present to do something totally coo, and healthy. I realized that if I put food into my mouth as it came out of my butt, I am more likely to gain that super-human strength that could really put me over the edge, with the ladies...

After realizing that pooping and eating simultaneously is a good idea I began to brainstorm what sorts of food would benefit this style of food consumption. I immediately decided that food involving forks and especially knives were a real no-no. Finger food such as fried chicken and pizza could leave me time to eat without having to worry about squeezing that poop out of my butt. And because pizza only takes one hand to to eat, I can read while I poop and eat. Currently I am in the process of shopping for a T.V. dinner table which I can eat off of while I defecate. With a table handy, I can move on to higher class meals like caramelized salmon, or maybe something with saffron.

This roundabout cycle will leave me with more energy and leave the ladies wanting to touch my muscles and even perhaps have a special sort of dinner date with a super special lady. When I make my riches I can make a room with two bathrooms facing each other with a nice italian marble table acting as the only thing seperating us from pooping and making love, at the same time!
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