MY FIXED GEAR LIFESTYLE

I pose a question:
Is it possible to ride a certain type of bicycle and not be an asshole?
For me, apparently it is not.
I once hated fixed gears. I thought they were horrible and I thought the people who rode them were horrible. I felt this way for a long time.
One day I found a fixed gear. I always thought it was cool. It was a guilty pleasure like the counting crows. This turned me into a fixed gear sympathizer. "Yeah I have a fixed gear, but I'm not like those other assholes who ride them," I thought. And for a while I wasnt...

Fast forward two years later and I am just another hipster who has a fixed gear. I judge people who have brakes. I think to myself, "You might think you are cool with your fixed gear but you have a brake. You are a loser. Oh, you put your foot down at red lights? You are an idiot. I can track stand all day. I could probably jerk off and trackstand. If you know any girls that want to fellate me while I trackstand send them my way. As long as she have feather earrings. I am better than you, not only at fixed gearing, but probably at life."

This should give you a pretty good idea about how insecure I am.

I constantly feel the need to go faster than everyone. When I bike down market, I need to be ahead of the pack. If someone thinks they can go faster than me, I will literally do whatever I need to to keep up or pass them.

I can skid stop with the best of them. I will rock out on a 15 foot skid with some sweet fishtailing in front of girls at busstops and think it is moistening their vaginas when in reality they probably think, "what an idiot."

I started all of this with the intention that I would exist as just another person on a bicycle. As you can see, it did not turn out that way.

Its sad, but that is an incredibly accurate representation of how I feel as I ride my fixed gear bicycle around.

Why not have brakes? my ego...
It is hard to admit, but I would never ride a fixed gear bike with a brake. I should be able to. I should be able to not care what people think about me and live my life as best I know how. But...I will not ride with a brake.

If anyone actually reads this, your opinion of me will no doubt go downhill. That is ok. As I said, this is how I feel for better or worse.

Dont cry

TIP TUBE!

here is a good idea:
TIP TUBE!

it is exactly what it sounds like. rather than a jar, it is a tube that you put tips in. The tube will make the tipping experience more exciting for both the tipper and the tipee.

This is the kind of outside of the box thinking that has never landed me a job where I get tips.

Nonetheless, I feel that someone should do this. The jar is played.

Its fun sliding coins down anything.

Ideally, the business the tip tube would be in would have something to do with tubes. This might be a stretch but if people were presented with the opportunity to say "tubular" before, after, or during the time they are tipping that would really bring this whole thing together.





I wish I had more money.
When I do, I bet I will be wishing for the same thing.