MARLBORO MAN

god im totally weak.


when not indulging in either of my duce favorite pastimes, crying or madhatterbayting, i really enjoy a good cigarette. some call them cancer sticks, some call them wayne gretzkeys, or smokes i guess. whatever you call them, they are a wild mix of beauty, pain, and a nice little break from a wild life which mostly involves picking up trash and being hella scared of everything.

one day the summer befoe hunior hear i just smoked some sweet sweet cheeba and my buddy nikolatiasman offered me a clove. i smoked it and was fucked up! i had to sit down while i was smoking it for i thought i would collapse onto the cold dirty ground had my butt not found a place to rest. that night i bought a pack. they were called dejarums i now remember. i recall being fasciminated-or with how it was only like 4.50 dollars for 20 of them. i smoked those hardcore for like a week until my lungs bled with lust for rebellion. oh what a sweet lust it was. cause less, or full of cause, only me knows. shortly after this i moved on to marbloro reds and here i am almost five years l8ter alligator. my main dude pilladinousaur lived by neenth and juudah and they always had buy i get one free menthol 100 mediums. we would take turns, real cute style, buying packs and giving one another one of them. its a wonder we never had sex. or did we...?

now a days im a 27 man and i just cant stop. my parents i am sure know i smoke althoguh i always deny it when they ask. i feel ashamed of it for some reason i guess. my 6-2 220 retard brother smokes, whcih is probably my fault, and even he had the guts to tell my parents he smokes. pahpeeple often inquire when i will stop smoking. i usually tell people when i gain knowledge of my first born being conceived, that is the day i will become, A MAN!

by the way freds, any kind of cisco with sparks is the fuckin shit. i have literally never had such a good time.

totally weak. fuck

Have you ever tried to give food to someone you thought was homeless and then it turned out they werent homeless?

big bottle beezwax^^^^rael big!

so apparently, when im not blackout drunk i dont have much to say which is somewhat upsetting. i guess. And with my new schedule which is school 5 day a week from 8-12:30 and work at 6 firty ayem on saturday i think my days of drinking may be over for a while which is somewhat upsetting. i guess. However, my drinking career is rather unfortunate when you look at it especially when it comes to alcohol i have chosen to drink. have you ever tried to drink a six pack of smirnoff ice? by the end your teeph are in huberendous pain. and there is definetley (whoa there) more than a little bit of sugar in there. when i was fourteent though these things were not a big concern for me because if i drank a forty, i would surely vomit. so after smirnoff ice i moved on to royal gate which totally ruled. post gate i began an affair with a raucous lover by the name of cisco which totally kicked my ass. here is the basic breakdown. one bottle=375 ml=2$. multiply that by 2 and you spent four dollars to get majorly drunk. i was heavy into cisco too. i was living in a wild world of not being sure if i had peed in my pants and terrible shooting pains in my arm. not only did it taste like heaven but it was quite the conversation piece with ladies at the partays. after drinking two a night several times a week some good freinds stepped in and stopped my filthy habit. BUT NOT BEFORE I THOUGHT OF SOME HELLA SWEET DRINKS INVOLVING CISCO!

1) RAGS TO RICHES

1 bottle of cisco (preferably red. always preferably red. usually.)

1 half pint of hennessy

one word...blood...or maybe: 2TOOK! man, i chased the heem with the cisco and the good times started rolling almost immediatley! about tre fourts of the way through the cisco i started clanking (clanging?) the bottles toguether. and who doesnt like saying rags to riches. it kind of makes me think of the mighty ducks or the badnews bears. which both totally rule.

2) THE DARRYL STRAWBERRY

1 bottle of strawberry cisco

1 20 oz bottle strawberry soda

honestly i have only drinken this twice but the name is pretty sweet. dont ya think? for all you vaginas out there who cant handle the skrate up cisco, this is probably the drink for you. with only one bottle your really not going to be feeling nearly as shitty as if you had drinken two of them and thr strawberry soda certainly sooths the tum tum. little three ninjas referanttt right there. tell all your friends!

3) STATUTORY RED

1 bottle of cisco (again, preferably red)

1 32 oz bottle smirnoff ice

this one is really a sweet mix of oldschool bone bidnit and newschool stink shit. im not gonna lie. i dont think im gay. i often crave moist orfices in broads. heh, a little more than often, are you with me fellas? yeah, i know you are. FUCK YEAH! if your looking for something between rags to riches and the darryl strawberry this is probably it. its pretty sweet too because if your out at a get toguether you can keep the cisco in your pocket and walk around with the ice in hand. if some folks try to talk shit about your 32 oz smirnoff, which is totally out of line, you can but out your cisco and wont they feel stupid. real men drink cisco. realer men drink smirnoff ice and cisco. you can mix then or chase it rags to riches style. its all you baby.

in conclusion, give these bad boys a whirl and keep it safe. and hetrosexual.

Teeph Grin-der

you know those fang teeph you have? like the sick ones that make vampires vampires. like hella long just outside the fronts. equodistant from the center. I gridn that shit like a fuckin mad man. my doontist told me to wear a mouph gard and they even fitted me for one and gave it to me. but here is the interesante part. any folks that know whats really going on with dumpster deeeeeeenis know that i pukes when i want and i am mad in control of that isht. so any way...blood...i was at the dentist getting fitted for my mouph gard and they put that puddy type shit in my mouth, you know, to get it fitted, and i fuckin puked on the dentist assistant lady. apparentently, being thrown up on wasnt what she had signed up for when she decided to become a dentists assistant. so my vomit was on her and we did it again and short story longish i got a mouph gard but i dont faux with it. so my fang teeth are hella grinded down and and one day soon they will get down to the nerve and those who are close to me will have to visist me with ice-cream and flowers to console me for my pain. and i will puke on anyone. i puked on 2 people in my life. how many have you puked on? i bet you havnt vomited on 2 people. and thats whats up. tonight i drank seagrams gin and a 32 oz of snapple ice tea. lemon blood. i dont faux with peach. i meant to get a pint of seagrams whiskey but my dude nikolatias totally fauxed me over and got me gin. the last time i drank gin, which just to happend to be the first time, i got stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid. and i cannot go into it now but i was a bad situation and if i remember my password i will totally do this again. big ups to the delete key. big ups to jack for lettign me faux with his computer while mine is out of comission due to excessive pornography viewing, which i will totally go into full detail on later. dont grind your teeth. fuck a bitch all day every single day and fuck bars. it is in my personal opion that people under the age of 21 shoudl not go to bars. because they suck. and they shoudl keep it triple triv drinking in public parks.