How to Pee at the Beach

99% of the time i say fuck the beach. I do go sometimes but I try to avoid the sand which makes it difficult to socialize. I did make an exception yesterday as the weather was quite divine. After downing a couple brohnsons i suddenly realized that I needed to release some urine and time was of the essence as my bladder was quite full. Usually I will pee wherever I please when in front of public but there were a lot of little kids around and with no structure to face as the urine goes a flyin i wanted to avoid any little kids seeing my penis. Not being a sex offender is high on my list of things I want to do with my life. Hoping to avoid the social faux pas of peeing in my pants I had to think quick. Here is a short tutorial on how to pee at the beach:


























1) dig yourself a hole. unless you always have shovel handy your hands will probably suffice. avoid digging this hole next to small children.


2) get yourself a beach towel. Unzip your pants ahead of time. Approach the hole you have dug as though you are not about to pee in it. That's kind of the vibe you are going for throughout this process. Put the towel on your back kind of like a cape and lay down upon the hole with your penis positioned above the hole.

3) let the urine loose!

The towel will help you to pee without public noticing. Its always good to cover up the hole after you are done. If executed properly, you too can pee at the beach without having to introduce yourself to your new neighbors as having exposed yourself to children. good luck.

RIP MICHAEL JACKSON

ive been thinking about doing this post for a while and in light of the man's death i guess now is a good time. Two years ago i got really into "I always feel like someones watching me" with rockwell. Shortly after that i found some other fantastic songs using that as a sample. here is a brief list. there might be more.

Michael Jackson "Somebodys watching me"
whats not to like.


Master P "I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me"
Master P's verse is fucking fire. Besides the fact that he refuses to "run from any motherfucking white folks" i especially like the part where the crackhead offers P a ride yet P still feels it neccesary to put his gun to the guys head.

Killa Tay featuring Fat Tone "Jocking Me"
Fat Tone? yeah. Great spin on the classic track. I cant really relate to other peoples bitches jocking me but it sounds like an exciting/stressful position to be in.


The Pack "I'm Shinnin'"
Let the good times roll.



rip to the king of pop