isnt it weird that when a girl gets smashed by hella dudes she is a slut while when a dude pokes hella broads he is like, a bossman? i got chesthair

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yeah, my chest is pretty hairy. so whaaaat?

i used to go to water parks all the time. remember when that waterpark, i cant remember what its called but those seniors in highschool died when they all piled into the slide and it fell. it was very sad but my moms took full advatnage of the situation by realizing no one would want to go to the waterpark after people had met their fate on the wild ride of gods sweet nectar:water.

No lines baby! i was awesome. recently i realized that i have not been to a waterpark since my surplus of chest hair came to be. not that i have a problem with "showing off the goods" but i like to only show me chest hair to broads i am actively tryin to pokes (which isnt many) and good friends of mine and their girlfriends while i haves been drinking. I figure there must be plenty fo dudes who have hairy chests at the waterpark. but what if there arent? it looks even more gross after i emerge from a body of water. the hair is all long and wet. it looks like i shaved a long haired cat and glued the hairs to my chest. and the cat had been taking a bath. so the cat was looking kidn fo sad. like this cat:


here is a fun activity. google image search "wet cat". nonstop comedy.



^^^this one is funnier but didnt as closely resemble my chest hairs when wet.




either you have been living in a cave, for like forever, or you are farmiliar with the section of homosexual dudes called the bears. as i understand it, and i am pretty confident that i do, they are larger dudes who have lots of chest hair. so i was thinking, not that i would want to be, but could i pass for a bear? peep the picture of me on a roof, 2took, in the big apple. is that bear material? maybe i should contact a bear. ask an authority on the subject. but if i ask a bear, might he see this as some sort of sexual pass at him? do bears only poke other bears? i think so. i guess it doesnt really matter but i am kind of a big dude and im nots talking aboot tall-wise. im talking about fat. and im hella hairy.

Throw a lip on this!


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oh boy.

thats right. throw a 4 peet chicken tendah on a slice of pie and your good to go. its doesnt have to be blondies. its just right where i work. and bk is right there too so its totally sweet. in fact, i dont think you should go to blondies because its pretty weak. blondies i guess is the weak of the week.

You may not have known this, but Missouri go. unfortunately it has a reputation for staying still? is that the opposite of going? why not. Fix a couple of kinks and it would probably be my paradise. here is why:

What are my three favorite things in the world? Cigarettes, cheap food that doesnt have vegetables, and thick white chicks. Maybe bongs too but thats for another time. Missouri offers all of these things in surplus and although i dont like beer, while i was there i decided that because the refrigerator in my grandmommas basement was stocked to the max with busch light, i might as well indulge myself.

Cigarettes in the MO are about 2.50-3.50$ a pack. and thats good cigarettes. Premium baby. if you fancy cheaper cigarettes like liggets for example, then your looking at about a buck seven five for a pack. and for the smoker on a budget, you really cant beat that.

People often make fun of me because when i order food somewhere or i am preparing it myself, it contains no vegetables and if it does i simply will not eat it. As you can imagine this can become quite embarrassing. This is the kind of shit that flies when your eight but as i continue to grow older (and wiser) (and handsome-er) waitress are beginning to give me dirty looks. I have never been on a date in my lifetime but i imagine, the broad would not be too impressed when i request the chef removes all chunks of vegetables from the tomato sauce. living in san fran stinko this problem often occurs. i would say the main difference between Missouri and san francisco is that in missouri you have to ask to have vegetables with something where as in san francisco they think your a dooshbag if you cant get down with the greenery.

sidenote: if i could find a (thick)broad who would trade me sexual favors for me eating vegetables i could probably get down. unfortunately, they have trouble seeing what they get out of it. the satisfaction of me living longer. the longer i live the more funny jokes i could tell. yeah

next

of course the thick vagina havers

She isnt that thick. But she is wearing juicy couture. And although i wouldnt have sex with her in her current condition, after a week with me, a couple jesse specials and some chilimacurritos, she would be good to go.



back to the point. I was unable to find any actual research proving my point but people in missouri are generally a little more hefty than out here in the scosco. what a shame. skinny broads dont do it for pro-bono. Life is a little more simple out there i guess.

who hasnt seen coming to america? maybe i will go to missouri and pretend im not hella dumpster because you know, everyone here jocks me because of how dumpster i am. anyway, in missouri i will find my true love and then after we poke a couple times i will be like " guess what, im actually supergrimetime" then we will poke more?



this isnt a very good idea.

The Show Me State

1)Wiffle Ball
2)Busch Light
3)Cheeseburgers


more to come as I continue to get drunk and smoke menthol liggets in my grandmas basement with my schitzofrantic cousin.

Chilimacuriito

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As you can see it is an exciting moment. I have been eating macaroni mixed with dennison's beanless chili for quite a few years now. it especially appeals to me because i dont like beans but i love chili. some tell me this means i dont like chili, and although i disagree, dennison's beanless chili says chili on the can. its chili. I dont eat fruit or vegestables. Its kind of a midwest thangalang i hear from my father who hails from there to put chili into various things most coastal types might have looked right past. father bone tells me when he was a youngster they would heat up chili in a can and pour it in a bag of fritos. i dont know what they called that but i would put a pretty penny on the fact that it had a pretty sweet name indeed! I have also been throwing tortillas on the open flame, giving that bad boy a sweet taste of some element, and dipping it into melted butter. tonight, minus the butter dipping, i realized why not put chili macaroni into a little tortilla. the results:








a red haired friend of mine got me into this cd maybe sophmore year of highschool. i have a distinct memory of listening to mac sinatra in his parked car and drinking a forty and vomiting. this cd had some quality e-40 that i got pretty into and i lost my original copy so i gots myself another.


Get What You Need -- E-40

Mac Shawn-- Mac Sinatra

We Are The Best -- Mac Shawn, E-40, Suga T

Im a pretty big Suga T fan but when it comes to bay area female rappers lolo swift takes the cake for me. she great! not to hate on suga t or anything

The CD has an awesome name: world wide bosses and playas by Mac Shawn. it has many people on the cover who all look pretty cool.

i didnt realize this until i bought this cd a second time, which makes sense conidering when i lost the last copy, but I guess turf talk used to go by the name "killa kane." The hook on this song is absolutely terrible and they repeat it way more often than i thought was neccessary, but, there ya go for a little turf talk fact. i like his rap on this song but i like most turf talk. he gets an A in my book.

Bossin We B Flossin -- Killa Kane, Mac Shawn

hurray. cook up a chilimacaritto!








naughtydude