then i threw up

what i consumed in new york over roughly 26 hours:

-2.5 packs of cigarettes which were heckza spensiv
-5 slices of pizza pie
-2 large cherry italian ices
-1 small lemon italian ice
-an undetermined amount of mozerella sticks
-a healthy serving of macaroni and cheese


needless to say it was pretty fun.

here is picture of me enjoying myself on a roof


i ate lots of other things too. i met my moms cousins who are the most jewish people i have ever encountered. apparently the lox in northern conneticut are to die for. im not a self loathing half jew or anything, but i was pretty blown away. when you mix some long island jews with a new york accent, it gets wild. new york is ok. its axtually pretty weak. im friscoed out all day dude, i mean blood.

punk rock bitch steal them things

whoa. have you ever been to a club. im 20, so ive been to a couple bars but nevers sometang you need to dress up for before. its a wild game. heres the plan for a dude like me. i work or worked, a lot in the sun and am kind of a tan typer dude. i was able to convince the mothe of these two broads i was hollering at that i, like them, was also part el salvadorian and that i could relate to the struglle. unfortunatley, the mothes of these duce bots wasnt trying to relay game so the bone lost. none the less,

i did apprehend my first shoplifting supsect, which as i did not explain in my presious post, is my new profession, a a certain store which i will not mention, lest you know how much of a vagina i am, you would probably want to steal fromm there on principal. but these bitch ass broad got rappped although i let her go and the merchandise which is oh so important (this stupid as bitch stole a shirt with some faded print on it which looked like something some band from the 80's might wear whcih i guess is cool with a fake ass tie on it, well your boy let her go and uesss what? she was white, which rules


fuck the club, i look like an idiot wearing my saved out roomates clothes. what a sad life. i serioutley, (and the pellllling for real) hate my life, when i know how i will post my naughty girl remix called naughty dude. the intenets is going crazy.


cop that history in the making because i might be a bay dude but jr is whats up. big apple beezwax tomarow. all day. trying to poke one of my dudes ladies friends which is definetley the game plan

MY FIRST ARREST

ei didnt really arrest anyone yet but hopefully soon i will. your dude friend me has moved from oogling at weird hippy bots who are not very attractive and picking up lots of trash to a much more glamorous proffesion. my new job involves oogling over much more attractive women and ensuring justice 5 days a week at a prime time booyah doowntoown locashion. now im not the dude to yuou know, assume all black people steal stuff but apparently this is the attitude that a person in my position seems to take on. heres a quote from the dude training me. "now im not racist my any means but you really have to watch out for these young black people stealing things." although stereotyping minorites and offering them "extended customer service" is sure a blast i am really pumped to bust some 15 year old girl who is with her mom. oh the tears will fly my hombres. and i will have no sympathy because justice may be a cold dish, but i like ice water. you feels me?

the store i work at is so fucking weak that i cannot even begin to explain some of the things i see people wearing and the toopid shit i hear people say. hey buddy, i really like your really tite white jeans. they really go with that brite yellow belt you have there. i was totally conviced all these dudes were dooshbags but then i realized, nearly all the mega bots i see are with duuds like this so i began to ask myself. are dudes that wear shirts that say "trust me im a celebrity" dooshbags, or am i the dooshbag. then i asked myself, who is doing pushups naked, dipping my penis into a warm cup of water, and who is putting their penis in a real vagina with bot to go wit it?