bitch got hella poop in her butt blud!

If you need ping-pong balls, megaphones, handcuffs, fitted hats, lighters, mace, baseball bats, a taser, levi's, or even a ski mask, my new job is the place to go. You might be surprised how many people are purchasing ski masks. it attracts an interesting crowd to say the least. As people try them on in front of the mirror and try to look scary i really cant help but wonder if perhaps they do not have good intentions involving the use of the ski mask. My boss does not seem to be concerned about what people do with the ski masks, "as long as they pay and they are polite." fair enough. Sometimes I also get to sell people knives. A sign on the glass reads, "if you are on parole talk to your probation officer before purchasing a knife." perhaps this gives you an idea as to the kind of people i am showing knives to. My only hope is that if they want to steal the knife, that they dont stab me first. I dont think they would. Unless they are crazy. and many people, while looking at the knives tell me that they are in fact crazy. People, as they hold the knives look at them like breasts then stab them into the air, twisting them, then pausing before they pull the knife upward. "you think this could kill a man?" i cant gaurantee it, i tell them, but thats kind of what knives do. I go and knives kill people. thats whats up.

At any new place i frequent whether it be a new job or a new school, i always try to see how long i can go there without pooping. I have crushed my old record of three days and have been going on almost a month strong. Its a great feeling. Who knows how long this will go on? Is it possible that I could go the whole time at this job without pooping? Me thinks yes and my determination cannot be faltered.





my new job go and my life was almost perfect for a second until i reaized all the bees flyhing around my deck was not a random coincednce. Apparently they have created a nest which scientists call a "hive" and they have chosen to place it in my nonoperational hot tub. I fear the bee like shoplifters used to fear me, which is a lot. I may have to become a friend of the bee.



i looked briefly on internets for how to get rid of the bee problem and the consensus seemed to be that you need to call someone and spend money. There is no way in hell I will be pay anyone anything when I can potentially take care of this problem by my lonesome. I mapped out potential solutions and so far i think I will make a suit of sorts out of tinfoil and get a can of raid in my hand and then go dumb on the bees. Hopefully I will live to tell the tale!

muni, joni, and my new job doesnt suck

+=whoa!



I've totally been lezzing out recently as I have gotten a tad more than lightweight into Joni Mitchell. Initially, I was under the impression that she was from San Francisco. I found out she wasn't and felt a little uncomfortable for a while then decided I was still down. For the past some 7 years I have really only listened to rap music. I realized sometimes it can get a little negative. The level of lezz-outidness is off the charts!

Joni Mitchell - "Blue"

Thanks toMac Jay for this because I had never heard it but what a kawinkadink ehh?! Thanks Buddy!

Mac Dre - "Bonus Track" [feat. Dubee & P.S.D. Tha Drivah]


I've been working on a life changing movie for a while and it is taking up most of my pondering life time. This movie might be the greatest thing ever. We will see.

I also got a new job where I actually don't have time to do nothing for 8 hours. Today I helped a man who had been in jail for thirty years and had gotten out two days ago buy a whole new outfit. After I didn't bring him his pants fast enough he inquired whether or not I thought him putting some "lead in my ass" would make me move any faster. I said maybe then began to bring him his desired items faster. He was not the type of man who felt it necessary to use the fitting rooms. He had no qualms with changing in the store. He stayed in the store for another hour which seemed strange because he kept telling me he didn't have all day. He also somehow got the impression I thought him and his cousin who he was with were poking and got really upset. three hours after he left the store I found all the clothes he had come into the store with kicked under some other clothes. Needless to say I was nothing less than impressed. What a move! Go into a store and buy all new clothes and leave your old clothes behind! I picked his clothes up with a bag, like one might pick up poop, and left them outside. We also listen to KISS 98.1 FM! and that station really gets the party going. When you work in retail and a quarter of your customers are on drugs, nothing like some "We want the funk" to get them to spend money and hopefully not yell at me. My new Job is the greatest thing that has happened to me in a very long time. I am no longer embarrassed when people I know see me at work.


fuck yeah!



if you have not seen this video, now is your chance. The best part is when they ghost ride the train at West Portal.

its go time.