Team of the 80's...

What a find. Jerry rice has always made me uncomfortable when he talks and his verse in this song is no exception. It was easy to like the 49ers when I was 10 and they won every time. Im kind of a fairweather fan. except for the San Francisco Spiders. They werent the best team out on the ice but they IHL hockey was pretty entertaining stuff.

Spinner the Spider always got me pumped. And erections.
With no regard for his own safety, Spinner's trademark move to keep the crowd from leaving was to roll down the stairs at the Cow Palace from the top down to the ice. Spinner was well known for scaling the glass around the ring and interfering with the game. One time my dad and I were walkign up to buy tickets and some bigshot way up high with the organization gave us VIP tickets right up in front of the glass. Some guy brought us down there and it turned out that the VIP were just old couches in front of the glass. The view was still cool with me though. My brother couldnt give a fuck what was going on. He was always trying to break his hotdog eating records. Sometimes your biggest competition is yourself.



these uniforms were pretty awesome.

A lesson to be learned...

It's a good thing I almost lit my house on fire. My head was getting pretty big. This sort of brought me back to reality. My roommate, who is known to give me a good beat-down every couple of weeks, can be ill-tempered at times. After the fire was put out I looked into his nazi-esque eyes and nothing needed to be said. I fucked up pretty bad and all the kidney punches in the world could not reinforce that any further. You live and you learn. In my case I learned that cigarettes could cause fires. I thought that was just an urban myth. I guess I was wrong.


Cellski - Playin Wit Fire
This is one of my favorite freestyle mix tape songs. off volume 1 which is my second favorite to volume 2. "we hustle hard from may to may."


Ohio Players - Fire
Fuck yeah.

i you have never masturbated to these guys album covers you are really missing out.




It could have been a lot worse.
If the flame had reached all of that flammable bucket paint I dont think I would have been able to contain the beast. The nylon chairs are also far from fire proof. If the fire had reached my roommates room, I would not be alive today to tell you this sad tale. For now I have the whole scene covered with trashbags that look like a fun fort so my upstairs neighbors dont see and snitch to my landlord. Im not moving back in my birthgivers. I aint going back!

safety first

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I have always looked down on people who burn down their own houses like they are rift-raft scum. Who the fuck burns shit accidentally? I always figured if you had running water the problem would sort of handle itself with some quick thinking and an accessible bucket. Unfortunately for me, the only bucket I have in my house is on my back deck filled with dry leaves, my hair, and nearly 1,000 cigarette butts. I used to put my cigarette butts in forty bottles. I have nearly three filled up which I plan on using for some sort of hilarious prank. The only prank I have thought up so far is throwing the forty filled with cigarettes at an unsuspecting woman from a car. Because I do not own a car anymore (I sold it to my younger brother for an ipod which, as it turns out, does not work) and none of my friends want to be an accomplice to my prank which they argue is a crime, i will have to think of another more legal prank involving the disgusting forty bottles.
But because I am lazy, I stopped using the forties for my finished cigarettes and just started throwing them in the plastic bucket filled with dry leaves and my hair. Upon tossing the lit cigarette in the bucket, I went inside to cook some meat for me and my woman. It was a fine cut. I sat back blissfully for near 90 minutes before I decided another cigarette was in order. As I approached the deck I noticed that it looked like it was on fire, and after looking further, my speculation became fact.
All I can say is thank god my landlord had the foresight to equip me and my hero roommate with a fire extinguisher. When my manly roommate heard my girlish screams, he rushed to put out the fire, which fortunately only burnt the wall where the bucket was. I'm not one to object to offensive odors but the smell of burnt plastic and hair almost made me vomit as though I had just put down 2 bottles of red. and I dont mean whine. maybe i do. i think cisco is wine. Im talking about cisco.
well now my house smells like burnt plastic, i have a final tomorrow, and a sudden soft spot for people who burnt their houses down.